Friday, June 06, 2014

You get what you need

The Rosie Project - Graeme Simsion (Simon & Schuster, 2013)

I actually paid for a Kindle book! And this book faced some tough circumstances; I started reading it while spending my Saturday night at the emergency vet. Not the most auspicious of beginnings. But it was funny, and helped take at least a little of my mind off my poor sick cat.

And the book turns out to be a totally charming romantic comedy, and one from a guy's point of view, which is refreshing. Don is an Australian genetics professor with what seems to be an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. (He gives a talk on Asperger's early in the novel, and pretty much diagnoses himself then.) He's created an amazing and extremely rigid order and schedule for his life, all of which gets upended when his friend and fellow professor (also a cad) sends a seemingly wild child woman to his office. The woman herself isn't unexpected in and of herself, since he's developed a rather thorough questionnaire meant to screen for a compatible mate, but Rosie is clearly all wrong. And yet...

Don's journey away from the safe boundaries of his world is charming and often silly, but it works. I had a smile on my face pretty much the entire time.

She's back!

Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy - Helen Fielding (Alfred A. Knopf, 2013)

In college, my girlfriends and I wrote long and absurd email chains about - as I recall it - how much we related to Bridget Jones and of course her ancestor characters from Jane Austen. And I fell in love with Fielding's earlier novel, Cause Celeb, which introduced a character not unlike Bridget, but a little stronger and perhaps less absurd. And years later there was Olivia Joules, and I have fond memories of sitting on a beach, laughing outloud; Olivia was yet another mashup of Bridget & CC's Rosie.

But I digress. Fast forward some amount of time, and news breaks about a new Bridget Jones novel and the huge plot twist that destroyed everyone's notion of Bridget's happily ever after. Fielding killed off Colin Firth. (Or, you know, Mark Darcy, but for all intents and purposes...) Now Bridget is a single mom, at 51 shepherding her 7- and 5-year-old son & daughter to school, activities, playdates, etc. (Good news there for any ladies worried about the "your eggs shrivel at 30" forces, perhaps.) Still surrounded by her crazy friends, and after several years of just trying to survive the loss of her husband, she's ready to put herself back out there in the world. And in true Bridget-style too.

The book is fat, but of course too quick a read. Oh, and of course I laughed aloud several times. And despite its imperfections, I found myself slowing down to a snail's pace as I approached the end, because I was so enjoying spending time with Bridget again. And when I finished, I flipped back to the beginning and started over. It's not so much that I identify with Bridget -- I'm not sure that I do -- but being with that voice takes me back to a fun era of my life, and makes me laugh, and reminds me that our absurdities are what make us most lovable.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

More romance

Ten Things I Love About You - Julia Quinn (Avon, 2010)

Romancing the Duke - Tessa Dare (Avon 2014)

Yes, so I went to the library, and this is what happened. Quinn's book is a fairly rollicking account of Annabel's experience trying to avoid marriage to a much older duke looking for a bride who will give him an heir, which falling in with the one man the duke most hates, his nephew and current heir. Oh, and lots of lists. I like lists.

Dare's is about the a young woman who is essentially Christopher Robin, the daughter of a fairy-tale author who just happened to cast her in a starring role. But now she's destitute after her father's death, and latches on to her one chance at her own fairy-tale ending: the castle that has somehow been willed to her. Problem is, the castle still retains a duke, one with his own tortured history and who still believes himself the rightful owner of the castle. Plenty of plot twists.

Plenty of cute. Good selection for the end-of-semester rush at school.

Prepping for the ring

Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life - Alison Moir-Smith (Hudson Street Press, 2006)

I was expecting the wedding-planning stress. I don't like event planning. Several times before even meeting my future husband, I suggested the desirability of a "surprise wedding." In my vision, I'd be engaged, and I'd probably even have some say over the guest list and maybe some other broad details. But essentially just one morning someone would wake me up and say, "Okay, this is the day. Let's go" and hustle me into the dress and off to the ceremony site. All details handled. Obviously there are enough problems with this scenario that I didn't use it as much of a guide in planning my actual wedding. But still...

What I thought less about what the transition that the wedding marked, that the engagement was the transitory space between being single and being married. And that one is truly fundamentally different from the other. It was a good reminder that much of the planning stress isn't just about planning an event, but is also indicative of the broader changes going on in almost all of your relationships.

So Moir-Smith talks about her own challenges during her engagement, and how she turned to her own MFT training to try to get in touch with how she was feeling, and why. And then how she turned that into a professional practice, and also the book. She invites the reader to go deep, and grieve where necessary, and feel ALL the feelings.

Among the things that change: your own sense of identity -- saying goodbye to Single You; your relationship with your family; your relationship with your partner; your relationship with your friends (particularly the single ones). Beyond those, Moir-Smith offers advice on how to stay emotionally present and engaged not only throughout the engagement, but also during the wedding and honeymoon, and into marriage. Some of this seemed inapplicable to me and my life, but other parts of it really forced me to look at some things that were going on from a different perspective.

I read this long enough ago that I went back and re-read it this week, with a more critical and skeptical eye. Not sure why the change. I walked away glad that I read it, and glad that I engaged with the questions and emotions raised by the book, but also a little wary that I not "create" tensions that don't exist simply for the sake of doing the process "correctly." Everyone's journey is going to be different, and I maybe could have used a little more of a reminder of that. Maybe then, this is the sort of book that benefits most by being read more than once.

Love notes

An Equal Music - Vikram Seth (Vintage International, 1999)

So I really have been reading, I swear. Watch this mass of posts I'm about to drop on you. :)

I really love how Seth writes. He's beautiful and eloquent without being particularly difficult, so there's an easy flow and rhythm to reading him. (This was of course particularly the case with Golden Gate.) But I just never fell in love with this book. I wanted to. I kept waiting to feel utterly engaged, but I guess that the characters held themselves at such remove that I always felt kept at arm's length. I have to assume this was purposeful, but since I tend to want to fall headlong into my novels, it was difficult for me.

But if you are interested in the world of European musicians, it's still a lovely read. Michael is a violinist in a London quartet, haunted by the love he lost in Vienna when he fled with little warning. From what I can tell, he had serious issues with panic, and working with his mentor there was eating away at him. [With this, I can sympathize.] The lost Julia reappears, through a bus window, and slowly makes her way back into his world. She is married and has a small child, but their lives entangle once more, and she travels with the quartet to Vienna.

There's more to it -- a secret, another panic attack, an elderly and lost father and aunt back in the rural working-class North, and a violin which doesn't belong to him, but which is truly the greatest love and partnership Michael has ever known -- but it's not particularly a plot-driven novel. It's more about the vignettes of thought, observation, remembrance. If I knew more about music, I would venture to guess that the structure is somewhat reminiscent of some sort of work of composition, études maybe?